Why It's Beer I Fear
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Invited to a celebration,
Of friends, who'd passed a years probation,
I thought I'd stop and wish them well,
Perhaps a joke or story tell.
Then smile, and hurry on my way,
For I had planned a busy day.
My intentions were both good and clear,
And lasted, 'til I saw the beer.
Oh dear, I saw the beer.
That bitter amber fluid, that I tend to hold most dear!
And while I knew I really had to get my butt in gear,
The atmosphere was friendly, and oh well, I grabbed a beer.
The party started kind of slow,
But soon the crowd began to glow,
With conversations ebb and flow,
I felt my thirst began to grow.
My friends are quite a lively bunch,
And though there was a lovely lunch,
That beer weighed heavy in my hand,
My mouth was feeling dry as sand.
Oh dear, I drank the beer.
That bitter amber fluid, tasted cold and sharp and clear.
I remember thinking to myself, "I should get out of here!"
The atmosphere grew friendlier, oh well, I drank the beer.
I soon became quite confident,
I felt I was quite eloquent,
And feeling really fine,
I parried some guys line
I said, "Kind sir, please let me be,
That line's at least as old as me!"
I turned to walk a way.
The room began to sway!
Oh dear, I'd drunk the beer,
And another, and another, 'til my steps began to veer,
He grabbed my arm to steady me, and seemed to move quite near,
The atmosphere was warming up, OH MAN! I drank the beer!
For then to my complete surprise,
I saw his most amazing eyes,
His smile seemed most sincere,
I sipped another beer,
His jeans fit snug through thigh and rear,
His voice was mellow, soft, and clear.
But then, I saw the old boy leer,
FORGET IT BUB! I'M OUT OF HERE!
Oh dear, I'd drunk the beer,
Though nothing really happened, his intentions were quite clear,
I called a cab, and ran before my husband had a fear,
In my defense, I'll only say.....I'm SURE it was the beer!